The tile map scrolls along on an ever scrolling quest,
To try to make the game look great, in fact its very best.
The scrolling seems quite endless, but in fact it's rather true,
That it repeats within a loop. That's what it tends to do.
The tile map forms a perfect world which lies beneath my feet,
I tread on carpets, mowed grass and dirt, each one's a different treat.
Items sit on floors and walls, waiting to be claimed.
I'll take them as I pass them by, For glory and for fame.

[break]

[chorus]

tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Walking 'round the furniture that lines up in a grid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
I'd show you where the window is, but this viewpoint makes it hid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Where every tree looks just the same no matter where you go.
tile map, oh living in a tile map,
If I'm trapped inside these pixels, then it really doesn't show.

[break]

[verse]
The water's always moving with a simple blue effect,
While lava bubbles menacingly, just as you'd expect.
The grass is green and beautiful except when it's just sand,
And there's rocks and diamonds scattered everywhere within this land.

[bridge]

It's all very two dimensional.
Either top down or side on.
I wonder if it does three D?
I bet that wasn't tried on.
This world is made of tiny squares,
Arranged with gentle care.
A world of little pixels that
Create the world we share.

[break]

[chorus]
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Walking 'round the furniture that lines up in a grid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
I'd show you where the window is, but this viewpoint makes it hid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Where every tree looks just the same no matter where you go.
tile map, oh living in a tile map,
If I'm trapped inside these pixels, then it really doesn't show.

[outro]
The screen begins to fade, as the music starts to slow,
I realize I've a new home where the pixels gently grow.
Though it's just a tile map world with all its limits set,
It's still a place of wonder, which I'm sure I won't forget.

[chorus]
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Walking 'round the furniture that lines up in a grid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
I'd show you where the window is, but this viewpoint makes it hid.
tile map, I'm living in a tile map,
Where every tree looks just the same no matter where you go.
tile map, oh living in a tile map,
If I'm trapped inside these pixels, then it really doesn't show.

JNKCE20250519
Coffee Conundrum

Int. Dave's Games and ScrunchCakes - Monday Morning

[Several customers are seated at tables, some playing handheld games while eating]
[Dave and Greenie are stood behind the main counter]

Green: We might need one of those fancy coffee machines.
Dave: I used to serve coffee, you know.
Green: Really? When?
Dave: When I worked in that coffee shop with those six friends.
Green: No, Dave, that was the TV again. You used to watch Friends.
Dave: Oh yeah.

[Mrs Thompson approaches with a tray of ScrunchCakes]
Dave: I don't suppose you know how to work those big coffee machines?
Mrs Thompson: We're getting a coffee machine, now? Goodness me, this place is changing on a weekly basis.
Green: Daily, at this point.
Mrs Thompson: No, David. If you want a coffee expert, you're going to have to hire a coffee expert.
Dave: I have to hire more people? This is getting costly.
Green: We still don't have any proper weekend staff.

[A customer walks to the counter]

Customer: Hey, can I get some of those purple cake things to take home?
Dave: [nudging Greenie] Purple! Yeay!
Mrs Thompson: How many were you after?
Customer: How many do they come in?
Mrs Thompson: We haven't decided yet. We need to work on that.
Dave: We've a lot to work on.
Customer: So, um, six?
Mrs Thompson: Coming right up. David, order some cake boxes, already.

[End credits roll]