The first proper day of decent weather, here in the UK, and I found myself lazily sitting at the back of the house (bungalow!) on my beanbag.
-=-=-
Aaah, chillin'
So, the Unicycle game doesn't really look all that much different. There's been a teensy bit of graphical fixups, and the floor's looking a little bit better, but otherwise.. .. Yeah, I've been lazy.
"Why have you still not given me arms, yet?" yells the Uniclown.
Well, Mr Clown, I still don't know what you're doing.
You might end up with flapping arms, or giant custard pies for hands, or hold a massive beanbag bazooka.
Honestly, I don't know what your arms should look like, yet.
But mostly, Mr Clown, it's because I've been lazy.
I opened the back door, pulled over the bug-net, fluffed up the bean bag, plonked myself down, and I was a lazy lazy man for the majority of the day.
And then the Switch 2 US Preorder hoo-haa kicked off, and I watched in horror as the worlds of Games and Politics smushed horrifically into each other.
I'd've tried to do that "Angry Man yells at clouds" meme, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky, because it was a lovely day, and all was good.
Except when it wasn't.
And things are looking dire.
ugh..
I hope you folk in the US can manage to get hold of the Switch 2.
*ascii hugs all round*
[chorus]
Dee, Dee, Diddle dee.
Happy times a-gaming.
Dee, Dee, Diddle-dee-dee.
Lets all have a fun time.
[break]
[verse]
Don't think about the evil troll,
Who stomps his feet and breaks it all.
Just bury your head in the sand again,
And sing a happy song.
[chorus]
Dee, Dee, Diddle dee.
Happy times a-gaming.
Dee, Dee, Diddle-dee-dee.
Lets all have a fun time.
Tra-la-laa la laa-la
We can even code them.
De dee, de dee, de diddle-dee-dee.
Forget about the daemon.
[break]
[bridge]
Some things are heavy, like plates of spaghetti,
Or evil trolls stomping their feet.
They throw out their toys, and make all sorts of noise,
'til they think that you've all been defeated.
(But we haven't yet quite been defeated)
[chorus]
Dee, Dee, Diddle dee.
Happy times a-gaming.
Dee, Dee, Diddle-dee-dee.
Lets all have a fun time.
Tra-la-laa la laa-la
We can even code them.
De dee, de dee, de diddle-dee-dee.
Forget about the daemon.
[outro]
Try not to lose focus, and stick to your games.
The trolls will lose sight of their various aims.
Good times will return if we don't lose our hope.
And we all struggle on, and continue to cope.
[chorus]
Dee, Dee, Diddle dee.
Happy times a-gaming.
Dee, Dee, Diddle-dee-dee.
Lets all have a fun time.
Tra-la-laa la laa-la
We can even code them.
De dee, de dee, de diddle-dee-dee.
Forget about the daemon.
Int. Local Supermarket - Morning
[Dave and Green are pushing a trolley down the fruit aisle]
Dave: Seven berries out of..
Green: Are you serious?
Dave: Fresh berries might be nice. Scrunchberry surprise!
Green: Not sure that fits with the sausage meat.
Dave: Sure it does. Gooseberry for the Green cakes, Blackcurrants for the blue. Raspberries for the red ones.
Green: Raspberries with pork sausages?
Dave: Ooh, I could make a ScrunchCake Raspberry Pie!
Green: I'm not sure the Church goers are the target audience for subtle technology humour.
Dave: How do you mean?
Green: Do you think Mrs Timpson would even know what a Raspberry Pi is?
Dave: You're right. The church fete needs something special!
Green: Uhoh. You and "special" is usually a bad idea.
Dave: Let's see if Lady Computer has any ideas.
[Lady Computer beeps from Dave's phone]
Green: You brought her shopping?
Dave: She's checking prices! They're up. LOL, look, the graph looks like rockets.
Green: Berry trajectories?
Dave: For maximum scrunch factor! The berries need to hit the sausage meat at precisely the right angle.
Green: What in the name of madness are you on about Dave?
Dave: Don't worry. Everything's under control. I'm a culinary genius!
[Dave grabs a melon and puts it into the shopping trolley]
Green: A genius, you say?
Dave: The melons are helping! Their roundedness shows us the perfect trajectory!
Green: Everything else is round, too, Dave. There's no square fruit, here.
Dave: Oooh, just imagine. A Squareberry ScrunchCake!?
[End credits roll]
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