JNKCE20240820
[Scene One]

Int. Dave's apartment - Evening
[Dave and Green are staring intently at the computer screen, with the YouTube view counter showing 7... No, 8 views for their Burrow Office trailer]

Dave: [excitedly] Greenie, look at this! Eight whole people, all around the world, are interested in my amazing Burrow Office!!
Green: [sarcastically] Wow, Dave. Eight people. That's practically a tech revolution. Should we start preparing your Nobel Prize speech?
Dave: This is a monumental achievement! It's way better than that time we held a meeting about the trapdoor and only Matt showed up.
Green: At least Matt was genuinely interested. These eight views could just be us refreshing the page.
Dave: It doesn't count that does it?

[Greenie shrugs]
Dave: Don't be such a pessimist, Greenie! This is the start of something big. Remember when I filled my entire trolley with Coke bottles? You thought I was crazy then too.
Green: Yes, and I still think you're crazy, every week when you do it. At least the Coke bottles were tangible. This is just... pixels on a screen.
Dave: Pixels that represent real people, Greenie! Real people who are interested in Burrow Office! I'm gonna make a fortune.

[Scene Two]
Int. Dave's apartment - 2 hours later

[Dave is pacing around the room, gesticulating wildly, while Green watches from the couch]
Dave: Think about it, Greenie! Eight people! That's like... two people per continent!
Green: [sighs] Dave, there are seven continents. And I'm pretty sure at least half of those views are just us refreshing the page.
Dave: Details, details. And this is proof that people are watching!
Green: Proof? Dave, for all we know, those views could be from bots or people who accidentally clicked on our video.
Dave: Bots, people, what's the difference? They're all potential customers!
Green: The difference is that bots don't buy software, Dave.
Dave: Not yet, they don't. But with Burrow Office, even bots will want to increase their productivity!
Green: [facepalming] I'm starting to think the Coke-filled holodeck wasn't your worst idea after all.

[A plink sound is heard]

Dave: NINE! YEEEAAAHH!!!!!

[Scene Three]
Int. Dave's apartment - 6 hours later

[Dave is now writing on a whiteboard, planning world domination, while Green lounges on the couch, exasperated]
Dave: Okay, so if we can get each of our eleven viewers to tell eleven more people, and then those people tell eleven more...
Green: Dave, that's not how viral marketing works. You can't force people to share your video.
Dave: Of course it is! It's like buying coke. You buy one bottle, and within 30 years you've a whole apartment full of coke merchandise. Start small, think big!
Green: Yes, because soft drinks and productivity software are exactly the same thing.
Dave: You're missing the point, Greenie! This is our chance to revolutionise the office software market!
Green: Dave, you dressed me up as a squirrel and called me Nutkin the Rabbit. I don't think we're revolutionising anything except perhaps the field of misguided marketing.
Dave: [beaming] See? Now you're getting it! We're breaking new ground! Next stop, Burrow Office on every computer in the world!
Green: More like next stop, the recycling bin. At least then we'd be organising something.
Dave: Organising peace throughout the spreadsheet meadows!

[plink]

[End credits roll with Dave trying to calculate how long it will take for Burrow Office to reach 7 billion users]