JNKCE20240812
[Scene One]

Int. Green's apartment - Afternoon

[Dave is holding a small, sleek computer while Green looks on skeptically]
Dave: Alright, Greenie. This little beauty has 1,000 times the processing power of your old mainframe.
Green: But Dave, it's so... tiny. Where's the charm? The character?
Dave: Character? Your old computer kept you up until 5 AM rebooting!
Green: Six.. Six AM. And that's part of its charm. Remember when I finally got Windows 98 to load? That was exciting!
Dave: Yes, and that was Windows 98. Welcome to the 20th century.

[Scene Two]
Int. Green's apartment - 15 minutes later

[Dave is examining the back of Green's monitor]
Dave: I've got it! We can mount it right on the back of your monitor. It'll save space and look neat.
Green: [looking horrified] But Dave, where would I feed the punched cards?
Dave: It's ok, we'll get you an external Punched Card reader. If I can find one.
Green: But without punch cards, how will I feel like I'm actually doing something?
Dave: Trust me, you'll be doing plenty. This thing can probably process a billion punched cards worth of data in seconds.
Green: A billion? That's a lot of cards... I don't think I have that many. Should I get some more?
Dave: No, it'll be fine. Don't worry Greenie. The future has you covered.

[Scene Three]
Int. Green's apartment - 30 minutes later

[Dave is trying to set up the new computer while Green hovers anxiously]
Green: Are you sure this thing won't shoot lasers across the room?
Dave: For the last time, no. This is a computer, not a vacuum cleaner.
Green: [sighs] I suppose that's good. But it doesn't seem very exciting.
Dave: Exciting? Greenie, this computer can do things your old mainframe could only dream of.
Green: It didn't dream, Dave. Computers don't dream.
Dave: With all the extra CPU power, this one might.
Green: But can it load Windows 98 in under three hours?
Dave: [facepalms] No, it'll load 98 copies of Windows 98 in three whole hours.
Green: I don't know, Dave. Maybe we should keep my old 186 as a backup, just in case.
Dave: In case you want to spend three hours booting Windows?
Green: At least I know it's doing something.

[End Credits as Dave continues to trail a hundred cables around the desk.]