I tackled this with the obvious mentality of "a hazy scrolling parallax mountain view", and that worked pretty well, but I felt it was lacking something.
"Hey, why not add an alien creature, since it looks so much like Shadow of the Beast", said an insane voice inside my head.
I tried that, and then I gave up trying to animate a running alien creature.
Instead, then, I drew a little army jeep and plopped two well-trained cadets in the thing.
Brum brum brum goes the little Jeep.
.. But, no.
I needed more.
So I added a giant flying monster, and then spitballed the title with ChatGPT for a while, until Haze became an acronym, and the game felt perfectly adequate.
There's no winning this game. You can't beat the Zephyraptors, but you can bounce a happy little ball over the top of it to score points.
Isn't that enough?!
I'm tired now!
Brum brum brum
goes the little Jeep. (Jeep)
Brum brum brum
with a little beep. (Beep)
Bang bang bang
goes the happy ball (a happy ball)
Bounce bounce bounce
Until he falls (weeeeee)
[A hazy mist fills the apartment. Greenie enters, waving his hand in front of his face]
Greenie: (coughing) Dave? Are you trying to hotbox the flat again?
Dave: (from another room) What? No! Why?
Greenie: (looking around) There's a weird haze in here. It's like that time you messed with the TV and it exploded.
Dave: (defensively) That only happened eight times.
[Greenie starts investigating, following the trail of smoke]
[Scene Two]
Int. Dave's Bedroom - Moments Later
[Greenie enters to find a room entangled in wires. Dave is still organising his cable collection]
Greenie: (exasperated) Dave, I think we've found the source of the smoke.
Dave: (confused) What smoke?
Greenie: (pointing) Look! Your ancient Orange SPV is practically melting!
Dave: (panicking) Oh no! I left it charging all night!
Greenie: (sarcastically) Brilliant. First, you nearly electrocute Matt with loose wires, and now you're trying to burn down the flat with a prehistoric phone.
Dave: (defensively) It's not prehistoric! It's vintage!
[Scene Three]
Int. Dave's Bedroom - Afternoon
[Matt enters, wearing a makeshift gas mask made from a cereal box]
Matt: (muffled) What's going on? It looks like Green's been cooking again.
Greenie: (rolling his eyes) Not my fault. Dave's Orange SPV decided to go up in smoke.
Dave: (sadly holding the charred phone) My poor SPV. We've been through so much together.
Matt: (removing his mask) Maybe it's time to let go, Dave.
Greenie: (nodding) Old technology doesn't have a place in modern society, Dave. Except my punched cards.
Dave: (sighing) I suppose you're right. But what am I going to do with all these old chargers now?
Greenie: (exasperated) Dave, for the love of all that's holy, just throw them away!
Dave: (grinning) Never! You never know when they might come in handy. Like for making a really long rope!
[Greenie and Matt exchange tired looks as Dave hugs his box of obsolete chargers]
[Fade to black]
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