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Rant Mode - ENGAGE! Blog
16th December 2010
What follows is a review from PlayThisThing.com
I screengrabbed it, because they're probably going to fix the "little" thing at the top, and I want to continue to take the piss out of them.

Here's me taking the piss out of them.

-=-=-






Rant #1

Lazy Journalist can't even be arsed to get my name right.
He didn't even hammer all the keys, in a vague attempt to get it to look slightly right.
That's only half my name, there, for smeg sake.
OI, You missed a few buttons...


Rant #2

Algorithmically Generated
Or, like it says IN THE GAME'S TITLEBAR... "Increased Random Incidents"
The game IS full of randomness.
Considering Platdude usually exists in an entirely specific world, filled with insanely specific jumps, and incredibly calculated paths to follow, this Crazy World of randomness is exactly what it is, because that's exactly what it's meant to be.
NeonPlat is a bizarre random mismash of "Random Incidents", but I firmly believe that anyone can play it well.
Sure, it'll go totally overboard after a few "Levels", but that's nothing you can't cope with if you keep the balls rolling around.

Random isn't a bad thing.
Unless it randomly decides to kill you from above!?!?!

Oh no!!


Rant #3

You see how the top of the screen keeps dropping shit on your head and killing you?
It's probably not a good idea to STAND at the top of the screen!

If this reviewer were reviewing a Mario game, I imagine it might include something like... "I tend to find myself constantly falling to the bottom of the screen. Unfortunately, that keeps killing me! This game sucks, because the bottom of the screen is like a pit of death or something!"

Mario = Stay away from the bottom.
NeonPlat = Stay the hell away from the top!
It isn't hard!
It's the damn game!!!
Shit drops from above, don't get in it's way!!!


Rant #4

Random powerups have been in games since Arkanoid, and probably before that.
FFS, What do you want?
A hand guided tutorial or something?!


Rant #5

This game ROCKS!
Go play it..
...then shove it on your Mame-cabinet, right where it belongs!


Bonus AGameAWeek Rant

I wrote this game SIX MONTHS ago.
I've written LOADS since then!
Talk about taking a while.
My little stat counter flagged their site about 3 months ago, when they first thought about reviewing NeonPlat2. (I got a link from their admin page!)
I can't honestly believe it took them THAT long to review this!?
I write a game in TWO weeks (pay attention, read the site), and it takes you 3 months to write the review?!
For Smeg Sake!!!

Clarification

AGameAWeek is just what it is, and I don't really give a rats ass if people hate my games. At least it's some smegging feedback for a change.
I probably would've let this review slide, it's the basic general opinion of NeonPlat, and I'm quite happy with that. The game's fantastic, and I absolutely love it to bits, even if everyone else hates it.
... if they'd bothered to get my name right, I wouldn't have whinged.
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